Tuesday, October 19, 2010

all knotted up

For the past several months I have had pain in my neck that seems to be coming from a knot on the back right side of my neck...and that knot triggers pain that shoots to my right temple.  Rubbing/massaging the knot doesn't seem to help...in fact it almost makes the pain that shoots to my temple even worse.  I thought perhaps our pillows needed to be tossed, so I went out and bought new pillows.  No solution.  I thought I was sleeping on my neck wrong, so I started sleeping on my back.  No solution.  Tylenol, Aleve, Advil, you name it and I tried taking it during the day and before I went to sleep and even if I had to get up in the middle of the night for the bathroom, drink, etc. I would take some.  Still no solution.

One day at work I was almost to the point of tears and made a doctor's appointment.  I was finally starting to think something would change.  I explained to her that there was a ping pong sized knot in my neck and that the pain it was causing not only in my neck, but in my head as well, was starting to be unbearable.  She jotted down some notes and told me that it was just muscles that were tense in my neck (while NOT even feeling the knot) and that they were tension headaches caused by stress.  I will admit, there are days that my job stresses me out, but those days aren't stressful enough to be causing this constant pain.  She wrote 2 different prescriptions and gave me a chiropractor's business card and peace out, holla, she was gone.  I sat there REALLY hoping that this knot is not something serious, seeing as though it's as the base of my skull and she didn't bother to examine it, and hoped for the best with the prescriptions.  Well that hope was crushed when it crushed my wallet and all the pills did were make me sleepy.  $81 dollars later and still hurting is where I am.  I am hesitant to go to a chiropractor because I'm concerned that any pain I have from here on out will require a visit to them. 

Can anyone shed any light on any similar experiences with these pains or any results/visits with chiropractors??  I'm open for any suggestions whatsoever!

they have a passion, yet we label them.

One thing that I have seen consistently throughout life is that when someone has a passion for something, they seemed to be labeled as result of that passion.  These labels often include: nerds, extremists, freaks, weirdos, and you can come up with some you've heard or witnessed yourselves.  I am guilty of this labeling crime and it hasn't been until recently that things have been put into perspective....and I've stopped and asked myself, "who am I to judge?" 

You know, if magic/sci-fi books allow someone to enjoy an evening to themselves by just reading and having some popcorn, then it does NOT mean they're a nerd....if someone quotes bible verses in their facebook status or has one in their email signature, it does NOT mean they're a religion extremist....if someone enjoys a certain style of music, relates to the lyrics, and paints their fingernails black, it does NOT mean they're a freak.  Don't let anyone ever criticize you for what truly brings a smile to your face....don't let others point and laugh because they don't understand your hobby/interest.....don't ever allow yourself to feel ashamed because you are a needle in a haystack. 

In my case, most people will never understand that when I've had a bad day and I break down in tears, a wet nose nudging my buried face can instantly slow down those tears.  In my case, most people will never understand why animal abuse cases literally make my stomach turn and cause my heart to hurt.  In my case, I will always hear, "but why?  they're just dogs" accompanied with the "she's one of those" that they mutter under their breath.  In my case, I got the eye rolling when a college assignment was to make a documentary and I made mine on the dire need for spaying and neutering while videoing the forgotten faces inside my local humane society.  But that's my case...and if people are going to label me, I'm proud to wear that label.

I am a living, breathing, contributing member to society.  I donate money to my local food bank, I donate stacks of clothes to Goodwill, but I just so happen to feel as though my purpose and calling is through helping animal shelters/rescues & less fortunate animals.  I find it unfair for anyone to judge me because I'm unable to shrug it off and not let it bother me when I see a stray dog running through a parking lot...or unfair for anyone to judge me because the links I share on facebook are powerful stories of people who haved saved these 4-legged lives.  When I realize a person isn't an animal person, I don't shrug them off by any means, I understand it's not for everyone.  But man, is it sure hard for some not to shrug me off.

The way I see it is at least I wake up each and every day with a passion for something.  At least I know there's something that will allow me to feel as though I can make a difference.  At least I know when I help out, hungry dogs are being fed and sick dogs are being nursed back to health.  At least I know that someone, somewhere is smiling when they adopt that dog that was saved from being euthanized and that 4-legged soul will bring them many memories for the years to come.

So perhaps maybe we should turn those labels into positive traits.  Instead of nerdy....try intellectual.  Instead of extremist....try faithful.  Instead of freak....try free spirit.

I'm proud to be a needle in a haystack.  And so is he....